5am!?! Are you CRAZY?!?

If you read my last post then you know I've been a little busy lately.

In my life it seems that either nothing is happening at all, or everything is happening all at the same time. I rather like it when nothing is happening at all. :-) And I get tremendously stressed when everything happens at the same time. :-{

I don't deal with stress well. I tend to shut down. How do I fix that? I have no idea. I'm the type of person who can give 100% effort to only one thing at a time, and for a while now that's been me working out. And that's been WONDERFUL! But I don't do well when I have to split my focus into a bunch of different things at the same time. Something always suffers. I've not been capable of giving 100% to several things at once. It just doesn't seem to compute with me, I don't know why. It's more like 30% here, 40% there, 20% over here, and 10% on that. It sucks. Currently I've had something like 5 days without working out because I've had so much stuff on my plate (but yes I've still been behaving on what I eat--don't want to move backward on that scale that's for sure!).

I've been used to working out for 2 hours at a time and that's hard to fit in right now. Most people use the arguement that if you've got 10, 20, even 30 minutes to work out then there's no excuse for you not to work out. While that is true and all, I like my 2 hour work out. I feel productive and successful each time. It's just the way I like it. It just only seems to work when I've got nothing else going on in my life. (Yes, I do have a very boring life normally. Ha!)

Now I can make a choice to shorten my work out for the time being, or I could work out earlier in the day. I don't like shortening my work out, though that's still a possibility. The thing is, when I need to change something in my life, the things God tells me I need to do MOST are the things I want to do LEAST (is this true for any of ya'll as well, possibly.). What are those things in my life? I feel compelled to change my routine to a 5am work out to save time during the day. But I've always made excuses why I shouldn't....and that's the key right there. It's the thing I want to do LEAST. I'm not a morning person, AT ALL. So to me the thought of waking up even earlier than normal makes me want to curl up into the fetal position, and whine and cry like a baby. Why do I hesitate on this so much??

What I've found to be true in the past is that things I've procrastinated on, turn out to be the quickest, easiest things, and then I wonder why I put it off and made such a big deal out of it. So still, why am I dragging my feet about this?? I think part of it is my fear of the unknown. I like to have the answers. I like to know what's going to happen. AND my fear of failure. I've had this work out routine down for the last 2 months and it's felt great. I've had the wonderful opportunity to put 100% focus on it. I'm thankful I've had that opportunity. I've had the chance to take it slow, pace myself, and establish a great routine, one that I know I will continue to be successful at. I just have this fear that changing up that routine will cause me to fail.

So a 5am work out. That's new. I can do the same things I've been doing, just earlier. I get to start my day when a lot of other people's day starts. It'll feel like I have more hours in my day. There are waaaay less things to distract me at that hour also, which is really a huge benefit. So, even though I'm freaked out about it, I'm going to try it. Worst case scenerio, I could switch to a shorter work out and save time, which is not a bad thing. I'd just like to request some support and especially encouragement from ya'll on this one. I know it's strange of me to ask ya'll for help but I need it on this one. Ya'll really keep me going. This is a busy and stressful period of upheaval and change in my life right now and I don't deal with it well at all. I kinda need to lean on you for a little bit if you don't mind.